Time still goes by

One of the biggest things I am trying to get a grip on is, no matter what I do, life is still going by. If I lose weight or gain weight, tommorow will still be here. Don't I want it to be at a smaller size? Don't I really want some success? I am tired of being fat. I love my family and I want to feel good and have energy to be the mother that is a great role model for her children. I work so hard to feed them well. Why don't I do the same for myself? Am I not worth it.
Since JAn 1st, I have been awful. Everyone has been sick and up all night for three weeks. It has slowly gone thru each child and I am in day 3 of it. The last three and a half years of my life I have been in complete and utter exhaustion. My freakin kids don't sleep. My
DH works six days a week until 10 or 11pm every nite. I am lonely, tired and basically a single mum. I do everything by myself. I take my kids to hotels and out to dinner and on weekend trips, by myself. I don't want them to miss out on family activities just because my hubby is never home. I never wanted to be a parent alone. I did it for three years with my son.
This is not where I thought I would be. I adore my husband. He is a damn hard worker but he isn't changing. So I need to make some changes. I am just not sure what. My mindset? Maybe. But I really need to shake things up. Or else I won't be living my life to its potential, I will continue to just merely exist...